Today is day 35. I'm in what I call Bikram Soup. I'm past my limit on so many levels. Normal problems seem like huge, impossible mountains to climb. I want to stop doing the challenge. eeK! All cells, muscles, bones are over their edge. I'm see, hear, feel why I'm "freakum" in my Bikram Soup.
In this January, 2013 challenge, it's clear what I want in my life and what will not be there anymore. Like eating a Almond Joy Candy Bar, some with nuts, some without nuts. Some nut bars I liked to eat, will not be in my diet. Throwing OUT! Some people you want to do business with and others are THOWN out. Some friends are not friends, can't be trusted. I saw their lie. I was the scapegoat. I'm done. They ran like a chicken and I got slammed. And this is not the one person who has given me months of grief. Out with the grief and the drama queen who feeds off the negative grief. All of us have been used by others. I must close the door and walk away. Those nuts no longer serve me. Tiny smile, I'm floating in freakum BIkram soup this morning.
Only someone who has done a 60 day challenge would understand me. They know. There is this married couple, their first challenge, we are supporting each other. The husband is skinny with muscle definition. I see his face, he is holding on in his bodysuit. His eyes just stare as he drinks his water. He's beyond his limit. His sweet wife, she is out there. We are all swimming in a huge bowl of sweaty, hot Bikram Soup, temperature 105 degrees, 90 mins, 60 straight days. HOLD ON BABY, we can do it.